Tuesday, December 20, 2005

What?! No Boyfriend?

Teenage girls are under such pressure to have a boyfriend. They are made to feel that they have not achieved success until they have a boyfriend. When my daughter was 12 or 13 years old, an adult asked me if my daughter has a boyfriend yet. Why in the world does a 12 or 13 year old need a boyfriend? Does it make her more beautiful if she has a boyfriend? Is she more talented or a better student if she has a boyfriend? Of course not. What is this terrible pressure that society puts on teenage girls?!

Being a teenage girl can be a wonderful time in a girl's life. It's her chance to connect with other girls and develop close friendships. It's a time for her to develop her talents and read books she won't have time to read when she's older. This is her time to laugh and giggle and socialize with all her girlfriends. She should have a pajama party with her friends and she should go shopping with her them and try on clothes she would never dream of buying. She should try skiing or snowboarding with her girlfriends. She should refuse to allow the pressure of having to have a boyfriend rob her of this time of building friendships with girls.

One of the funnest weekends I had as a single girl was when a bunch of us rented a room for a weekend at the beach. There were about four or five of my closest girlfriends. We were all in our early twenties. None of us had a boyfriend at that time. A couple of us had just broken up with a boyfriend. The others just could not find the right guy. However, we decided that we would forget about guys for one weekend and have fun just being girls. We rented this room at the beach, we went out to a fancy restaurant, we got tan in the sun, and we had a great time simply being together.

These times with our girlfriends won't last forever. Not much after this weekend, one by one we all had a boyfriend and are now all married. I never see most of these girls anymore. If we had moped around the house because we didn't have a boyfriend, we would have missed out on such a great weekend together.

If you are single and without a boyfriend, please don't allow others to put needless pressure on you. Just keep praying and asking God to bring that right man into your life. But while you are waiting for that to happen, don't put your life on hold. Take a vacation with one of your girlfriends. Go to Disney with a bunch of girls. Go skiing in the Rocky Mountains with your girlfriends. Go eat at a fancy restaurant. Get a new hairdo and makeover, but take a girlfriend with you and enjoy the experience together. Pay off your college and even buy a house. Remember, if you can be a happy single person, then you will be a happy married person. If you are a grumpy and depressed single person, you will most likely be a grumpy and depressed married person.

"...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11

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Anonymous said...

Great thoughts. Thinking back, and not getting married until I was 27, I had a blast with my "girlfriends", but could remember those friends who were bummed out all of the time because they didn't have a boyfriend.

We need to live life to the fullest no matter what stage we are in. We can't get back time!

In the meantime, single ladies, remember the story of Ruth who finally met her "Boaz". One woman leader at our church tells the single women to make up their "Boaz list" and pray their hearts out over it. God will bring the right guy along as we live where we are, just as he brought Boaz to Ruth.

Whew. I didn't think I would write that long. After all, it is your blog, not mine. :) Thanks, Anneliese for this post. Apparently, it struck something in me! :)

Tidy Bowl said...

I had a really rough time as a teen because I never had a boyfriend. Never even got asked out on a date. The other kids were like sharks. They pounced on a fact like that and never let me forget that I was apparently "undesirable". Today I see that it was really God protecting me from all the immoral and sexual crap that was going on around me.

Today I'm 22, still single, and I've been out on a grand total of... I think three official "dates". All three occurred before I dedicated my life to Christ. I have one really close female friend who is my age (incidentally, she is married), one close male friend who is almost my age (just a tad older than me) and whom you've probably read about on my blog, and one female friend who is a mother and sort of like a mentor to me.

Sometimes, it's easier to be single than other times. I won't lie - there are days, hours, minutes when I really want to have a boyfriend. But I always remind myself that for now, Jesus is my "boyfriend". He is my all, and He is the one I want to spend time with. I always remind myself that He will bring me my boyfriend, my "Mr. Right", my "Mr. Wonderful", all in His time.

Anonymous said...